Thursday Thoughts

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jazz lilts out the window every day around this time.

as the notes make their escape out of the mystery saxophone player’s apartment into my ears

i can’t help but applaud their diligence and ponder about their age

a college student perfecting his homework? a seasoned professional going through the set list they’ll be playing at a smoky nightclub or bar in the Village?

Practice is something we are all taught at one point or another

but it is only truly harnessed by the impassioned and dedicated individuals who understand its power

Individuality is something we are all born with, something we all run away from eventually discover is the most vital attribute we have.

how hard it is to sometimes grasp that some carry that dedication for status, or things; items that are fleeting and, in the end, inconsequential

for these accolades and things can’t hold you when you cry

dance with you in your joy

or look you in the eye and utter “i’m proud of you”

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Wordy Wednesday

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I don’t even know if I can preface a post with the phrase: “The older I get the more I…” but I feel that intro is apropos for this week’s Wordy Wednesday.

The older I get the more I…

begin to learn what to do and what not to do when it comes to my relationships. Now in the context of this post I’m merely looking at relationships from the friend viewpoint and not the “significant other” category (seeing how I don’t have one). Over the past week I’ve come to understand the power of words, how those words should or should not be communicated, and that no matter how open you perceive a friendship to be there are always lines that should and should not be crossed. Yeah sure I’m speaking in generalities, but I don’t believe the specifics of this tale need to be known for my discovery to be effective.

I have to admit that this was a hard lesson to learn but because of it, I was able to reconnect with other friends, make myself vulnerable to someone new in my life, who embraced me fully and listened to all I had to say as I finally voiced my frustration and confusion, and (this is so actor-y of me) able to push myself to a new level in terms of my scene work for the production I’m starring in at the end of the month. Talking to my mother about it was also an interesting experience in and of itself because I haven’t really talked to her about these kinds of issues in such a way before, and, as always, she listened wholeheartedly and gave me the advice I needed to handle the situation with grace while at the same time hitting me across the head with some Eppes schooling. (haha)

This post may seem very longwinded but I just wanted to put it out there if anybody else happens to find themselves in a similar situation. Remember that words can hurt, not all of your opinions need to be heard out loud, and whether or not you think a friend can hear and handle what you have to say, keep in mind that they have opinions too and what they think and understand to be true to them holds just as much weight.