Tuesday Thoughts

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There is such a beautiful freedom in tears
Permitting your heart, body, and mind to swell over the walls of others’ considerations
Sailing on the waves of bitterness, grief, insurmountable joy and fear
Being swept up in the currents of past, present, and the unseeable future
Does it ever catch you off guard when you whisper to yourself “Finally?”
We, as a people, sometimes ache for the salt water deluge which makes small rivers and streams down the contours of our face
Creates the quakes and shivers in the body, moving with an uninhibited freedom through our nerves, muscles and subconscious
It is in these disruptions we give ourselves permission to be.
To live in the here and now
To listen to the ghosts that haunt us
To lean into the dappled light that nurtures and powers us
Storms can come upon us suddenly or they can send messengers ahead to launch the warning sirens
Either way nature knows its limits
As each storm moves from place to place they always leave a serene hush over the landscape
A bright horizon filled with possibilities and new beginnings
A freedom you can only experience after the salt water has washed you clean

Wordy Wednesday

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release…

standing on the edge

my toes are curled around the sandstone, gripping to all i know about my past

my past experiences, past triumphs, past disappointments

but then there is a rustling in the trees causing me to point my head to the sky

and there it is

the calming sea of the atmosphere

with its soft puffy waves moving slowly with the current of the air

emerging, combining, deciding where to release its deluge of renewal.

 

silence

i am once again in tune with myself

my eye peers down over the precipice and i see a figure in the water.

it appears to have outstretched arms and a warm countenance

my toes begin to wiggle

my body is telling me to move ahead

to release myself from what is known and dive into the unknown

the figure begins to turn its head

it’s now or never

if i don’t jump now,

i’ll have to go it alone,

without knowing who that is

why they were waiting for me here,

and what my future could be with them in it.

i close my eyes

time passes faster than a swift inhale and exhale of breath

and there you are beside me

or were you there this whole time waiting for me to let go?

nycskyline

they

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they say there is no such thing as time travel

that there is no way to physically travel through space and time, to relive moments from the past

well i guess this they has never taken the 3 train

a mystical talisman that makes the minutes go in reverse and forces the calendar to move back its pages

they were never on the 3 train

which transports you to hazy summers and blizzards in winter

to the first time you held me

or played basketball in the park

to a place where there were only new beginnings and a fresh eye could gaze upon every building and sidewalk with wonder and excitement

if they had taken the 3 train

my shortness of breath

             pangs of anxiety

                      and fears of the sounds, colors, and fragrances  

                               would be understood

the bitter pill i swallowed two years too late

the calm and peace that is shattered when thinking of your face

i wish they had taken the 3 train

so an announcement could be made

to warn me of the emotions that would flood my wounded, fragile heart

briefly tipping me off balance again