Wordy Wednesday- Maintenance May

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Hello NYDreaming followers and family!

It has been AGES, (almost a year to be exact) since my last post on ye olde blog. That being said, 2016 and much of 2017 has been a whirlwind adventure. Both on the global and personal stage, changes have been rampant and it has definitely been a little difficult to juggle everything seamlessly in the air. That being said, I am a little under a month away from my 28th birthday and it got me thinking to what was missing in my life.

And naturally, my old Word Press account floated into my head!

It’s sometimes funny to think, that when I started this blog three years ago, it was out of necessity.

Necessary to leave my apartment. Necessary to not become bogged down with disappointment that I didn’t go to that audition or book that role, or follow up on that email. Necessary to find beauty in the grit and grime of New York City, the place I now fondly call home. Necessary to build new routines, go on new adventures, and just say “Hey, let’s see what happens, and try not to spend too much money.”

Suffice it to say, in the past 12 months there has been a shortage of DOWNTIME and as a result NYDreaming fell by the wayside. But like I always say when this occurs, dreaming is fine and dandy but acting on those dreams is what I always wanted in the first place!

Now back to the blog and my BIRTHDAY!!!

As the title of this post suggests, it’s Maintenance May for me. I never realized how much I missed a monthly theme, until I didn’t force myself to have one! LOL. This month, I’m really focusing on what makes me, ME! Taking time to fine tune the machine (working out and eating right), listening to what my heart and mind are telling me (blogging, journaling, and writing new poems), and making sure I’m in tip-top shape to change the world (pre-production and development for Shampagne season two). Acting is in no way on the back burner (melissamickens.com) and I’m hitting new benchmarks on the directing and teaching front at Stella Adler Studio!

Maintenance May is the undercurrent of the month because I want to finish 27 strong, so that 28 is just ready to pick up the baton and hit its stride.

June 8th, it will be wheels up back down to St. Thomas to ring in the day with my bestie, Cynthia! A time to fully relax, slow down and have some serious girl time with one of my very best friends, (the other will be getting a visit from me come fall, San Francisco I’m coming for ya!)

The post is wordy. The theme is in place. The world keeps spinning.

NYDreaming I missed you and so glad to be back.

Ciao,

M

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Tuesday Thoughts

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the stars are artificial here
The air is tinged with the fragrance of burnt pretzels and street meat
No grass to sink your toes into here
Just the climate controlled cement and concrete
Look to your left and you see “modernity”
Large glass windows, steel beams, posters advertising the latest blockbuster or reality tv show
On the other you see a more “classic” aesthetic
Brick and plaster, gargoyles and frescoes
Elaborate floral arrangements
Uniformed doormen at arched doorways welcoming patrons into a lush carpeted and exquisitely decorated lobby
A land of opposites
couples look longingly into one another’s eyes
Trying to touch every inch of the other
Consumed with lust and affection
Other couples, heavy with drink holding court with one another in the middle of the street
Pushing and shoving with all their might
Arguing about matters that won’t hold sway in the morning
Stickiness envelops us all
The breeze a sweet relief as I pass by each vignette

New Year, New Vigor

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As my time at home begins to wind down, I can’ t help but reflect once again on what a great year 2013 was for me! Not only was I able to be in a multitude of projects ranging from script workshops, to one-act play festivals, to film and TV productions, and newly envisioned work of theater canon masters, but I was able to solidify old friendships and readily accept new members to my New York family!

As with all years, there were a multitude of ups and downs, but I believe I’m fortunate in the fact that I can really only see 2013 as a year of positivity and self-growth. I was able to reconnect with a myriad of people who I haven’t seen in years through weddings, dinners, trips upstate, out-of-town visitors, and road trips to the Coast.

Starting this blog was definitely one of the major contributors to 2013’s success. Feeling accountable to myself (and I suppose the few readers) I was able to look at New York with fresh eyes, taking photos with a new POV, and hankering for opportunities and adventures that would be great experiences to retell and photograph for the site. Looking back, my original motivation was to finally give in to my mother’s advice, but also to get me out of bed at a decent hour to see everything my new neighborhood and the city had to offer me 🙂

Looking ahead to 2014, I have decided that resolutions for the year may not be practical for me at this point, and instead I’ve chosen to go a different route  and make resolutions for the next three months. I must admit that I read my Cosmo horoscope for the year with trepidation, but to be honest there were a few golden nuggets of truth I’d like to hang on to. The main one being that I need to grab life by the horns this month, really taking charge of my acting career and setting building blocks in place so I can really get ahead this year.

As always, I need to look at the year with an open mind and an open heart, reminding myself that I have a responsibility to myself, my family, and my Creator to live up to my potential and transcend it. Woof, transcendence. (A theme for the year? Too early to tell)

I hope you’ll join me as I take all of the twists and turns headed my way! I plan to blog about them all!!!!

Ciao 🙂

 

Tuesday Thoughts

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Why is everybody so afraid to say “I Love You?”

the holiday season is such a magical time for me, i think it has to do with the overwhelming feeling of love and joy that i feel. it puts extra pep in my step and gives me a “rose-colored lens” to view my life, family and friends through. and during this seasonal high i was confronted anew with an idea that continues to puzzle me…

let me give you background,

so last week i was g-chatting with cynthia over the interwebs and suddenly i was struck by how much our friendship means to me and what a fundamental part of my life little miss cyn is to me. swept up in this emotional epiphany the following conversation took place:

Melissa

i LOVE YOU!!!!

merry christmas spirit yay yayayayaya

 Cynthia

hehehe love you too weirdo

 Melissa

why does everybody say that?

so weird

there’s like a thesis there somewhere

because thats always people’s biggest regret it seems

 Cynthia

expressions of love are awkward for our society

we’re bred that way

 Melissa

not saying i love you to people we love enough before they leave us

strange

 Cynthia

mmm yea

we’re not supposed to express love or affection and blahblahblah

 Melissa

Fascinating

 Cynthia

i never did really with my fam until after my divorce and it was really awkward for a long time

from what i hear a lot of people dont really say i love you unless its a significant other

 Melissa

yeah

thats like the one person we have to hear it from

but i guess if you dont come from a loving fam you would long to hear that from them too right?

that could be a group talk right there

 Cynthia

hahaha

expressions of love and affection

i dig it

yea i mean i feel like we have to hear that people love us when we’re unsure if they do

or to reassurance that the feeling is mututal

idk

Cynthia

hahaha

expressions of love and affection

i dig it

yea i mean i feel like we have to hear that people love us when we’re unsure if they do

or to reassurance that the feeling is mututal

idk

 so do i stand alone in this conversation? is this just a silly question to have? we always here friends and family say after a loved one dies that they wished they were able to say i love you just once more before they left this earth. have we as a society been conditioned not to say it to each other ? why are we often taken aback when we hear it from others? this is just one of the random thoughts that passes through my mind from time to time. i would love to hear what you think about it all in the comments section.

ciao!

Shake Ups

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Life can really bring some unexpected twists and turns, but even when you have to pick up the pieces and figure out what to do next there are always signs telling you that this is happening for a reason. For instance, I was let go at my temp job assignment, suddenly and basically without any sound reasoning as to why. After talking with my mom, friends and kind of venting to the wall in my room, I forgot that I had a package from home sitting on my bed waiting to be opened. When I opened it up I was immediately enveloped in love and home as my mom sent me a box of “happies” as she likes to call them, filled with random finds at a Marshalls sale, a belated birthday gift, and souvenirs from her and my dad’s recent travels. 

Reading the letter that accompanied the goodies warmed my heart and made me smile from ear to ear. After looking at the series of events from my day, leaving early to get to the post office to get the package, almost being late for work, taking tons of calls, running errands on lunch, and being relieved to come home to a quiet apartment for a few hours, i was dumbfounded by the idea that once again, Everything happens for a reason and you’re always where you’re supposed to be. 

Opening the box after all that happened was just what I needed to do at that moment. Getting words of encouragement from home, and receiving a few Guatemalan Worry Dolls my mother picked up in Albuquerque were just what i needed to keep me from lingering on the confusion I felt on my termination. 

Shake ups come and go, but love from family and friends are constant, in my life anyway. 

Till the next post! Ciao