Hello, June!

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It’s June?!

Jeepers, where did the first half of the year go? I have literally been going full speed for 5 months now, and there is no end in sight (fingers crossed). Between acting, teaching, writing, creating and networking, 2015 has been very good to me. I’m pretty sure you’re getting tired of reading me say this every month, but it is honestly true. I am finding my stride so easily this year, and I think it has a lot to do with my new year’s resolution of “persistence and consistency.” I have always had prided myself on being organized, focused, and driven, but this year it has hit a whole new level, and I am beginning to reap the rewards on the left and right.

Yesterday, I was fortunate to participate in the Brooklyn Generator Project’s reading of Eboni Booth’s, Worthy. Ever since my summer in Ithaca, at the Hangar Theater, I have always loved working with a playwright as they refine their text in the rehearsal room, learning more about their characters and the world of the play, as I read them aloud. After the workshop performance, I was overwhelmed by the comments our audience had for me afterward. This is not a humble brag, instead it was a moment where I was able to take stock and realize once again, “I am where I’m supposed to be, doing what I love to do.”

I think that is a great realization to have as my birthday approaches.

As I enter the second half of my twenties, there is a sured-ness present that I suppose just comes with time and life experience. I hope that this next continues to build upon this momentum and that there are amazing challenges and moments ahead that will continue to shape and strengthen me.

June, glorious June, so happy to see you again!

Ciao

Thursday Thoughts

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Holy Crap, I’m a teacher! It’s my one month anniversary this week and I think I can say, with confidence, that I am now a teacher. Super weird, when you reach those points in your life that you always dreamed about as a kid.

Living in New York? Check!

Finding my way in the world of acting? Check!

Writing lesson plans for actual students and then using them or completely tossing them out? Check!

Before my first day I was excited and anxious, no different from the feelings I had on my first day of studio seven years ago. I knew I had big shoes to fill (thanks Jason) and that Shakespeare and I have a love/hate relationship. I kid. I kid. It’s mostly love, but if I’m going to be truly transparent here: Billy requires a lot of work. Once I got past these fears, walked through the door, sat with my students (!) and absorbed the inspiring words spoken by Adler’s artistic director I knew I could do this.

I’m not going to make it all sunshine and rainbows. My students definitely keep me on my toes: forcing me to always be at attention, adjusting to their needs, listening, creating new rehearsal exercises to get them to the next level, and really learning to be more confident in my own approach as a teaching artist.

Want to know a secret? Ever since I saw the Winona Ryder version of Little Women when Jo inherits Aunt March’s home and turns it into a school for boys, I’ve wanted to do the same thing. Not a school for boys, per se, but an acting school to establish and run in Jackson. Teaching at Adler is so rewarding, so invigorating, and so challenging. I’m glad that I have been exposed to this experience so much earlier than I thought possible. Sure, it still is a little terrifying when I head to class each week, but it’s from the place of not wanting to let them down, or Billy Shakes either, I suppose.

Ciao 🙂

Happy Friday

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So many great things are happening for my family members this month! Graduations, new job opportunities, traveling to new schools to begin graduate studies, coaching football teams, and basically trying to make a mark on this world. Cannot tell you how proud I am to call them family, and know that wherever we may be, we only want the best for each other!

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Thursday Thoughts

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Let me be honest. The past few weeks have been a bit of a blur, between Netflix marathons, a trip or two, hanging with friends and avoiding this blog (haha), the end of April and beginning of May have been a bit of a wash. Yeah sure, I’ve been submitting for auditions and work, as well as garnering a callback or two, but I think it could be safe to say that I haven’t been especially happy. Don’t get me wrong, happiness and joy are two completely different things, and if there wasn’t joy in my heart who knows if I would even be writing this post, but maybe this has a bit to do with the birthday that looms before me. The big 2-5! The age when the last big hurdle is crossed (I get to rent a car free of the additional insurance charge), when high school is truly beginning to fade, and the envious look you gave to recent college grads flooding the D train to Yankee Stadium no longer sneaks across your face. As I wrote last week, 2014 is definitely going to be a year of great change, the beginning of a new era here in the city, new friends on the horizon, and new lessons to be learned or enforced.

I think I fear it. :/

oops, was i not supposed to say that? am i not allowed to admit that i am afraid of the unknown? i mean i look around and my friends and family definitely have more bonafide reasons for this feeling, babies on the way, weddings and marriages to plan and begin, grad school to begin or complete, careers to find and jobs to fall in love with.

what’s big deal for me huh? i guess it’s simply because i have reached a point where i need to stop holding onto my “security blankets.” the friends, places, people, experiences, and patterns i have grown comfortable with. while comfort isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it also urges you to find the next comfort level. time to take the bull by the horns as it were and really leap off the cliff into my new “being.”

I’m just spewing here, because I consider my blog to be a safe place, and if you’re reading this and are either experiencing these same ideas or have just moved past them, feel free to comment below. really interested to get feedback on what you think and how you’ve coped and successfully moved into your new “comfort level.”

Ciao 🙂

Tuesday Thoughts

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i saw a ghost today

at least…

i think i did.

the air suddenly grew thick

like a hot July afternoon in the heart of Jackson.

my muscles were unable to relax

as beads of perspiration clung to my back and neck.

almost, in an instant a wave of memory both real and illusion

flooded my mind as i tried to navigate the now confusing and expansive halls.

i saw a ghost today

at least…

i believe i did

it felt like the shadow of night enveloped all of my surroundings and there was

a beam of moonlight sharpening the focus of he and i.

the radiance of the heavens left a chill on my exposed limbs and face

the creeping spiders of sensations, both past and forgotten, began to travel

down my spine

attempting to awaken so many things hidden and buried

forgotten, but still clear, even while the edges had begun to fade.

i saw a ghost today

at least…

that’s what he’s become to me.

no longer a symbol of all that was:

the hope, trust, faith and confidence of a not-too-distant yesterday

no longer an open-ended question

filled with pregnant guilt and shame

…no

now he is a warning to all who may come after

the cautionary tale that nothing is promised

no matter the drive, focus, or sheer talent and skill.

 

no one should see the ghost i saw

yes,

the ghost i know i saw today

the thick air, the chill from the moonlight’s gaze

i wish upon no one, whether friend or for.

there is so much change occurring in the world around us

our spirits wander this globe fervently in search of one another

wishing to inject joy, love, and magic into each life we touch and see

be the light

see that light

yearn for that light in others.

that way when you cross a ghost’s path,

you won’t be cloaked in their shards of darkness