Wordy Wednesday

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Seasonal Questions

To be “In Like” or

“In Lust?”

To dream?

Or bask in the moment which just was “is?”

How do you keep the doors open

yet keep that small wall of protection around you?

Build the wall?

OR

Ban the doubt?

Leaves pop through frozen snow

Proclaiming the arrival of birth and new beginnings

Do I wish to be left behind in the polar vortex of my past?

OR

break free with effervescence and joy to the coming spring?

Ritual

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It was a week ago…
I was weak ago?
Converging together
Cars, trains, planes
Highways, railways, sky ways
irrigated with the tears of a clan
Kin
My clan, my kin
Smiles gave way to hugs gave way to “How ya been’s?”
Heightened attention was focused towards the table
That corner
That seat
At each phone ring
door opening,
plate of food delivered
memory spoken
The ritual
The exchanges
The reminders
A breath
Transition
Back to catch up:
“How ya been?”,
“How was the trip?”
“How’s the weather?”
“Thanksgiving wasn’t that long ago…”
Laughter, cards, beer and Jack
we find our center once again
The fog not lifted but easier to navigate with the headlamps called “family”
The ritual
The exchanges
The reminders
A breath
Transition
Clothes of black
Veils of protection
Cloth to soothe tired faucets
as they run free and clear without ceasing
The pats
The hands
The feeling of warmth radiated from outside constellations to yours
Laughter, cards, tea, and cake
We say our goodbyes
Reflect in our goodbyes
Knowing “good” and “bye” will never be said to you again
The ritual
The exchanges
The reminders
A breath
Transition
Peeling off the clothes
the foil
Saran Wrap
bottle caps
Holding one another with tall tales, peace and quiet, drinking of wine,
Liquor, both dark and clear
Burning out the fog to cling to one another and bathe in the faith,
Strength and love that sustains us.
Sustained you
Goodbye…

Friday Thoughts

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Kisses on noses

The spark that awakens hope

A quick glimmer of what was and what still could be

It happens in an instant

But the ripples in the pools of my mind continue to expand

Searching for the concrete resolution

That never did and never may exist

Thursday Thoughts

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jazz lilts out the window every day around this time.

as the notes make their escape out of the mystery saxophone player’s apartment into my ears

i can’t help but applaud their diligence and ponder about their age

a college student perfecting his homework? a seasoned professional going through the set list they’ll be playing at a smoky nightclub or bar in the Village?

Practice is something we are all taught at one point or another

but it is only truly harnessed by the impassioned and dedicated individuals who understand its power

Individuality is something we are all born with, something we all run away from eventually discover is the most vital attribute we have.

how hard it is to sometimes grasp that some carry that dedication for status, or things; items that are fleeting and, in the end, inconsequential

for these accolades and things can’t hold you when you cry

dance with you in your joy

or look you in the eye and utter “i’m proud of you”

Tuesday Thoughts

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the stars are artificial here
The air is tinged with the fragrance of burnt pretzels and street meat
No grass to sink your toes into here
Just the climate controlled cement and concrete
Look to your left and you see “modernity”
Large glass windows, steel beams, posters advertising the latest blockbuster or reality tv show
On the other you see a more “classic” aesthetic
Brick and plaster, gargoyles and frescoes
Elaborate floral arrangements
Uniformed doormen at arched doorways welcoming patrons into a lush carpeted and exquisitely decorated lobby
A land of opposites
couples look longingly into one another’s eyes
Trying to touch every inch of the other
Consumed with lust and affection
Other couples, heavy with drink holding court with one another in the middle of the street
Pushing and shoving with all their might
Arguing about matters that won’t hold sway in the morning
Stickiness envelops us all
The breeze a sweet relief as I pass by each vignette

Wordy Wednesday

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“Goodbye” is a powerful word.

it begins a pattern of separation and acceptance, of grief or celebration, of “so long’s” and “farewell’s”

laying flowers by the gravesite of a departed loved one

throwing rice or blowing bubbles at the newlyweds as they embark on their new journey together,

“Goodbye” can live many lives,

depending on how it is used.

as a single word, “goodbye”, can string together the roller coaster of adventures shared between a group of friends graduating college

as two distinct words, “good” and “bye”, it has the potent energy of malice, strife, pain, and deception: the feelings engaged at the death of a relationship

contracted, “g’bye”, brims with warm familiarity which oozes from the heart of a young child speaking to a parent, stuffed animal, or imaginary friend.

but today, I use “bye.”

a shoddy attempt at concealing my disappointment that even as I was with you, breathing you in, keeping in step with you on the sidewalk, my heart only understood that the subway entrance drew ever closer

ready to separate us, once again, by distance, time and place.

Vacancy

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I live here...

there is a place for you here

inside, you’ll find a hook for your coat

a spot for your shoes

and a chair to ease your weary feet.


there is a space for you here

inside of my heart

where the caverns and vessels have been cleared for your presence

to pump in and out of me

becoming a part of me


you are welcome here

you are wanted here

you are already here


will you find your place, your space, your nook in the crannies left waiting for you?

better yet, is there a space inside of you as cozy, as warm, as welcoming for me?

or is your door rusted shut, with the curtains drawn and the lights sitting dormant waiting for the true resident to fill this vacancy of yours?