Wordy Wednesday

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Seasonal Questions

To be “In Like” or

“In Lust?”

To dream?

Or bask in the moment which just was “is?”

How do you keep the doors open

yet keep that small wall of protection around you?

Build the wall?

OR

Ban the doubt?

Leaves pop through frozen snow

Proclaiming the arrival of birth and new beginnings

Do I wish to be left behind in the polar vortex of my past?

OR

break free with effervescence and joy to the coming spring?

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Friday Thoughts

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Kisses on noses

The spark that awakens hope

A quick glimmer of what was and what still could be

It happens in an instant

But the ripples in the pools of my mind continue to expand

Searching for the concrete resolution

That never did and never may exist

Tuesday Thoughts

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the stars are artificial here
The air is tinged with the fragrance of burnt pretzels and street meat
No grass to sink your toes into here
Just the climate controlled cement and concrete
Look to your left and you see “modernity”
Large glass windows, steel beams, posters advertising the latest blockbuster or reality tv show
On the other you see a more “classic” aesthetic
Brick and plaster, gargoyles and frescoes
Elaborate floral arrangements
Uniformed doormen at arched doorways welcoming patrons into a lush carpeted and exquisitely decorated lobby
A land of opposites
couples look longingly into one another’s eyes
Trying to touch every inch of the other
Consumed with lust and affection
Other couples, heavy with drink holding court with one another in the middle of the street
Pushing and shoving with all their might
Arguing about matters that won’t hold sway in the morning
Stickiness envelops us all
The breeze a sweet relief as I pass by each vignette

Wordy Wednesday

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“Goodbye” is a powerful word.

it begins a pattern of separation and acceptance, of grief or celebration, of “so long’s” and “farewell’s”

laying flowers by the gravesite of a departed loved one

throwing rice or blowing bubbles at the newlyweds as they embark on their new journey together,

“Goodbye” can live many lives,

depending on how it is used.

as a single word, “goodbye”, can string together the roller coaster of adventures shared between a group of friends graduating college

as two distinct words, “good” and “bye”, it has the potent energy of malice, strife, pain, and deception: the feelings engaged at the death of a relationship

contracted, “g’bye”, brims with warm familiarity which oozes from the heart of a young child speaking to a parent, stuffed animal, or imaginary friend.

but today, I use “bye.”

a shoddy attempt at concealing my disappointment that even as I was with you, breathing you in, keeping in step with you on the sidewalk, my heart only understood that the subway entrance drew ever closer

ready to separate us, once again, by distance, time and place.

Tuesday Thoughts

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There is such a beautiful freedom in tears
Permitting your heart, body, and mind to swell over the walls of others’ considerations
Sailing on the waves of bitterness, grief, insurmountable joy and fear
Being swept up in the currents of past, present, and the unseeable future
Does it ever catch you off guard when you whisper to yourself “Finally?”
We, as a people, sometimes ache for the salt water deluge which makes small rivers and streams down the contours of our face
Creates the quakes and shivers in the body, moving with an uninhibited freedom through our nerves, muscles and subconscious
It is in these disruptions we give ourselves permission to be.
To live in the here and now
To listen to the ghosts that haunt us
To lean into the dappled light that nurtures and powers us
Storms can come upon us suddenly or they can send messengers ahead to launch the warning sirens
Either way nature knows its limits
As each storm moves from place to place they always leave a serene hush over the landscape
A bright horizon filled with possibilities and new beginnings
A freedom you can only experience after the salt water has washed you clean

Tuesday Thoughts

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IMG_7804miss: transitive verb, to discover or feel the absence of


i miss you.

it isn’t the physical missing that i feel, but its the constant presence of you.

sure, you’re in my thoughts, my days,

and i hate to admit aloud,

my dreams

but the nearness of you is what i miss

the way the air changes when you’re in it

how the electric spark is not as strong when you go missing

gone

not for long

only for a day, an hour, a moment

but the longing i feel compounds on top of itself and i wonder

is this what happens when you’re miles below the earth

or in deep, dark, unchartered waters

with no flicker of sunlight or starlight remind you of the sky

to discover or feel the absence of you is unfair

because none of these feelings would exist

if you hadn’t discovered

me

Tuesday Thoughts

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Pop!

there it is again

that feeling that has long been dormant

filling me up again, from the inside out

there’s nothing i can do to stop it now that it has fled its cage.

Like a moth mesmerized by the light

flapping its wings fervently expecting to be warmed by the glowing orb in front of it

To be overcome with the weightlessness of contentment

ecstatic to come face-to-face with the object that will be able to take it higher

soaring into the air

like a bright red balloon released into the heavens

To ride the unpredictable gales and tempests of the sky

Soaring up, up, up

expanding in the marvelous heat

until there is a POP!

That feeling is back again, that wonder is back again

The glow of endless possibilities as encompassing as the ocean is vast

now lives within me again.

Spurring me forward, heating my bosom,

firing my imagination, cooling my self doubts

spiriting my creativity…

The smile you see

that is the physical embodiment of that feeling,

that orb,

that balloon,

and that self-satisfying POP!

The rush is unimaginable

the heart-pumping giddiness is catching

Don’t stand too close!

or else that effervescent ZING will engulf you on the spot!