Let me be honest. The past few weeks have been a bit of a blur, between Netflix marathons, a trip or two, hanging with friends and avoiding this blog (haha), the end of April and beginning of May have been a bit of a wash. Yeah sure, I’ve been submitting for auditions and work, as well as garnering a callback or two, but I think it could be safe to say that I haven’t been especially happy. Don’t get me wrong, happiness and joy are two completely different things, and if there wasn’t joy in my heart who knows if I would even be writing this post, but maybe this has a bit to do with the birthday that looms before me. The big 2-5! The age when the last big hurdle is crossed (I get to rent a car free of the additional insurance charge), when high school is truly beginning to fade, and the envious look you gave to recent college grads flooding the D train to Yankee Stadium no longer sneaks across your face. As I wrote last week, 2014 is definitely going to be a year of great change, the beginning of a new era here in the city, new friends on the horizon, and new lessons to be learned or enforced.
I think I fear it.
oops, was i not supposed to say that? am i not allowed to admit that i am afraid of the unknown? i mean i look around and my friends and family definitely have more bonafide reasons for this feeling, babies on the way, weddings and marriages to plan and begin, grad school to begin or complete, careers to find and jobs to fall in love with.
what’s big deal for me huh? i guess it’s simply because i have reached a point where i need to stop holding onto my “security blankets.” the friends, places, people, experiences, and patterns i have grown comfortable with. while comfort isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it also urges you to find the next comfort level. time to take the bull by the horns as it were and really leap off the cliff into my new “being.”
I’m just spewing here, because I consider my blog to be a safe place, and if you’re reading this and are either experiencing these same ideas or have just moved past them, feel free to comment below. really interested to get feedback on what you think and how you’ve coped and successfully moved into your new “comfort level.”