Wordy Wednesday- Maintenance May

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Hello NYDreaming followers and family!

It has been AGES, (almost a year to be exact) since my last post on ye olde blog. That being said, 2016 and much of 2017 has been a whirlwind adventure. Both on the global and personal stage, changes have been rampant and it has definitely been a little difficult to juggle everything seamlessly in the air. That being said, I am a little under a month away from my 28th birthday and it got me thinking to what was missing in my life.

And naturally, my old Word Press account floated into my head!

It’s sometimes funny to think, that when I started this blog three years ago, it was out of necessity.

Necessary to leave my apartment. Necessary to not become bogged down with disappointment that I didn’t go to that audition or book that role, or follow up on that email. Necessary to find beauty in the grit and grime of New York City, the place I now fondly call home. Necessary to build new routines, go on new adventures, and just say “Hey, let’s see what happens, and try not to spend too much money.”

Suffice it to say, in the past 12 months there has been a shortage of DOWNTIME and as a result NYDreaming fell by the wayside. But like I always say when this occurs, dreaming is fine and dandy but acting on those dreams is what I always wanted in the first place!

Now back to the blog and my BIRTHDAY!!!

As the title of this post suggests, it’s Maintenance May for me. I never realized how much I missed a monthly theme, until I didn’t force myself to have one! LOL. This month, I’m really focusing on what makes me, ME! Taking time to fine tune the machine (working out and eating right), listening to what my heart and mind are telling me (blogging, journaling, and writing new poems), and making sure I’m in tip-top shape to change the world (pre-production and development for Shampagne season two). Acting is in no way on the back burner (melissamickens.com) and I’m hitting new benchmarks on the directing and teaching front at Stella Adler Studio!

Maintenance May is the undercurrent of the month because I want to finish 27 strong, so that 28 is just ready to pick up the baton and hit its stride.

June 8th, it will be wheels up back down to St. Thomas to ring in the day with my bestie, Cynthia! A time to fully relax, slow down and have some serious girl time with one of my very best friends, (the other will be getting a visit from me come fall, San Francisco I’m coming for ya!)

The post is wordy. The theme is in place. The world keeps spinning.

NYDreaming I missed you and so glad to be back.

Ciao,

M

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Marching To The Beat of My Own Drum

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It has taking me a while to settle on a theme for the month of March, but by George!, I’ve finally found one. On the first of many picturesque March days to come this past Sunday, I realized that it was time to do something that I really liked and needed. Live theatre! There really is nothing like it, from the box office, to the anticipation before the curtain, to the performance itself, nothing gets my heart pumping like good theatre. Exiting Roundabout, where I had just seen “Little Children Dreaming of a Lesser God,” I realized that I’m giving myself permission to be a little selfish with my time this month. Going to plays, pampering myself, focusing on what is good for me in terms of spiritual, physical, emotional and professional well-being is a great way to close out winter and say “Hello” to cheery springtime weather.

I firmly decided to take a quick vacation down South, to spend time with my family, I’m going to start taking ballet classes again, do a little something fun with my look, and continue to focus on my faith and fitness. (Fierce February really got me into some good habits). I am excited to see what the next few weeks will bring and with the March thaw, I intend to continue my love of self, the city, and all of the adventures that await me down the road.

Ciao 🙂

Wordy Wednesday

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a pebble hit the windshield

it was so inconsequential that the sound didn’t even register as the steam fogged the windows and the tears filled my eyes.

of course i’m not in my car

no, instead i am wrapped up in blankets

cocooned from the world

unwilling to emerge from my safe wrappings

and absorb the harsh realities that await me.

instead, i burrow deeper into myself

forced to confront those quiet corners in my mind that are so filled up with you.

your ideas, your thoughts, your rhythms, your scent.

that soft grumbling you make before turning over, once again submitting to the puppet master of your dreams

that fierce charisma you infect me with; dulling my self-doubt, criticisms

shaking anew the infinite possibilities of me.

as i grapple with this corner, the air feels fresh

the safety of the cocoon feels more and more like a trap

a barrier

between the me you see and the ME i will become

the layers shed quickly now

realizing the part they play in our separateness

in my obstacle course of becoming

becoming not a butterfly

no

becoming the being i am meant to be

who i always was and who i forever crave to be

a small ping from a tiny “pebble” that birthed the Big Bang, one quiet night on a cold, still, stale, February night.

Tuesday Thoughts

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Have you ever had a weekend that turned out to be your “Wake Up Call?” Well, while I wasn’t really expecting it, that’s what this past one was for me. For the past few weeks, I have been using a lot of excuses to explain some of my recent behavior: relationship problems, the weather, illness, the weather, a somewhat busy schedule and, you guessed it, the weather (winter has been hellacious this year). Now looking at this list you could admit that they could be legit reasons for my laziness, lack of motivation, focus and drive, but as with all excuses, when it comes down to the nitty-gritty that’s all they are, excuses. But let me tell you, looking back on the past few days my eyes have been opened to renewed possibilities and I was able to recognize a few things that, if this spell comes around again, I can take comfort in and move on.

1. I am surrounded by family and friends who love me. Love may mean different things to different people, but my core group of supporters and loved ones, help me be the best me I can be, especially during the rough patches. (hugs, air hugs, and text hugs need apply)

2. That while it may seem choppy at times, I realized that each time this year,  when someone has asked what’s going on with me, I have been able to say I am either in rehearsal or flexing my artistic muscle as a teaching artist with Stella Adler. (win!)

So as I aired out my room on a sunny Saturday afternoon, jamming to Journey, Fleetwood Mac and Earth, Wind and Fire, I took note of all the good in my life and that I can only go up from here!

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Ciao!