Thursday Thoughts

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Let me be honest. The past few weeks have been a bit of a blur, between Netflix marathons, a trip or two, hanging with friends and avoiding this blog (haha), the end of April and beginning of May have been a bit of a wash. Yeah sure, I’ve been submitting for auditions and work, as well as garnering a callback or two, but I think it could be safe to say that I haven’t been especially happy. Don’t get me wrong, happiness and joy are two completely different things, and if there wasn’t joy in my heart who knows if I would even be writing this post, but maybe this has a bit to do with the birthday that looms before me. The big 2-5! The age when the last big hurdle is crossed (I get to rent a car free of the additional insurance charge), when high school is truly beginning to fade, and the envious look you gave to recent college grads flooding the D train to Yankee Stadium no longer sneaks across your face. As I wrote last week, 2014 is definitely going to be a year of great change, the beginning of a new era here in the city, new friends on the horizon, and new lessons to be learned or enforced.

I think I fear it. :/

oops, was i not supposed to say that? am i not allowed to admit that i am afraid of the unknown? i mean i look around and my friends and family definitely have more bonafide reasons for this feeling, babies on the way, weddings and marriages to plan and begin, grad school to begin or complete, careers to find and jobs to fall in love with.

what’s big deal for me huh? i guess it’s simply because i have reached a point where i need to stop holding onto my “security blankets.” the friends, places, people, experiences, and patterns i have grown comfortable with. while comfort isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it also urges you to find the next comfort level. time to take the bull by the horns as it were and really leap off the cliff into my new “being.”

I’m just spewing here, because I consider my blog to be a safe place, and if you’re reading this and are either experiencing these same ideas or have just moved past them, feel free to comment below. really interested to get feedback on what you think and how you’ve coped and successfully moved into your new “comfort level.”

Ciao 🙂

Family Reflection of Good Friday

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One of the fondest memories I will always have of my childhood is my dad and his guitar. An annoyance on most days, but a welcome comfort always, the plinka-plinka heard from our TV room on early Saturday mornings or as a wake up call to get me out of bed, Dad would play that guitar. Self-taught and playing the same melodies over and over again, I always got the sense that when my dad was strumming, work was over, hard thinking had ceased, and he was relaxed and in his element. I think he now has at least four of those things now (I say things from a place of love, my brother and mom will understand the sentiment) but whenever I’m home he’s always on Old Faithful. 

Last spring, I received a text from Papa and in it was a voice memo titled “Melissa” and he signed it, Love that Lissa! For the next 5 minutes, while I sat on a park bench near Grant’s Tomb, I heard my dad strumming his guitar from our house on Hanging Moss Road, and as each note came through my headphones, a small tear would stream down my face. We had made it to another spring, a spring filled with growth, love, and possibilities. 

I’m listening to this song as I write this entry and the tears began like clockwork once again. How fortunate am I to have a father who loves me so much? To express his love through music. On Good Friday as we think of the sacrifice Our Father made for all of us, I’m thankful and hope you are too for the numerous blessings he has placed in our lives, whether it be a sunny day, a positive outlook, or a few notes played on the guitar by a man I’m proud to call Papa 🙂

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Ciao

 

Friends, Music, Spring!!

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Yesterday was an amazing day! Spring decided to taunt us here in the Big Apple with blue skies and big, white, fluffy clouds and I got the chance to grab lunch with my friend Michelle at Mudd Coffee. Michelle is definitely an example of a friendship I’ve nurtured and continue to be grateful for four years later. We met as apprentices at the Williamstown Theatre Festival in Massachusetts the summer of 2009 and have grown closer ever since. I think the reason I relish my relationship with “Delta” as I used to call her, is because she was one of my closest friends while I was miles away from father who was battling cancer, and my brother and his family as he prepared to welcome his first child into the world. Looking back, a lot happened in those four years: I graduated college, Dad went into remission, Michelle moved to New York and got her MFA, and I now have a niece, nephew and another little one on the way! 

Thinking of all that has happened to bring me to where I am truly complimented the gorgeous spring day and to top it off, while I was at Lincoln Center picking up a library book, a high school orchestra was playing music free for the public in front of the fountain and I decided spur of the moment to buy a ticket to the New York City Ballet for May!

Fresh beginnings, bright sunlight, more possibilities on the horizon!